The Seven Million Dollar Man
| Special = | Introducing = | Appearance = | Also = | Co = | With = | Uncredited = | Uncertain = | Producer = Lionel E. Siegel and Joe L. Cramer | Writer = Peter Allan Fields | Teleplay = | Story = | Director = Dick Moder | Production = 41224 | Original = November 1, 1974 | Prev = The Pal-Mir Escort | Next = Straight On 'Til Morning | Related = The Bionic Criminal }} Steve Austin is surprised to learn that the OSI has built another Bionic man. Unfortunately, Barney Miller has not psychologically accepted his new limbs or his new strength. Summary Steve Austin realizes Rudy and Oscar are deceiving him when he sees a man take a classified tape and everyone denies it. Steve follows Carla Peterson, a nurse on Rudy's cyborg project who had a Florence Nightingale relationship with him while he himself was recovering, to a club where he discovers the truth: there is another bionic man. Following a major accident, world championship racing driver Barney Miller had both his legs and arms replaced with Bionics at a cost of seven million dollars. The OSI's plan is to have Barney available in case Steve ever becomes incapable of doing his job. Barney struggles to come to terms emotionally with his new Bionic status and Steve agrees to accompany him on his first assignment. When Barney uses excessive violence during the mission and shows signs of becoming increasingly unstable Steve convinces Oscar that Barney's Bionic powers should be reduced to normal human levels. When informed of this decision Barney attacks Steve and another OSI agent, and then embarks on a desperate attempt to destroy the source files relating to the Cyborg Bionic project, deluding himself that he can paint the OSI into a corner making himself indispensable. After first breaking into Oscar's safe, Barney moves on to Rudy's lab. Steve follows Barney to try and stop him. Arriving at Rudy's lab, Barney forces Rudy to reveal the location of the files in question, and descends into the sub-levels as Steve arrives. Steve convinces Oscar to stay the kill order while he confronts Barney. Below, Steve and Barney have a legendary showdown. Barney is brought back by Steve, and his Bionics are turned down to normal strength levels. He seems to have made his peace with this, and Carla commits to stay with him. Deconstructed Quotes Rudy: So you played a little patty-fingers with my head nurse there for a while, huh? Steve: Well, Rudy, while you were rebuilding me into something other men weren't, Oscar was confincing me that I'd be better and stronger and so forth, why, Carla was there you know, all those days and nights that I spend staring up at the hospital ceiling, she was there... ---- Oscar: Look pal, I dropped everything and high-tailed it out here because you... you imagined that you saw... Steve: (interrupting) Well, what I'm starting to imagine is that the three people I trust most in the world are gaslighting me! ---- Barney: Did you really think that when the great Oscar Goldman pushed one of his little buttons and ordered up you, his brand new bionic gadget, did you really think he ordered only one of a kind? (pause) Wrong. ---- Oscar: Steve, your friendship is most important to me. Steve: Oscar, I don't lie to my friends. Oscar: There are times when I have to lie. ---- Barney: Everytime it gets cold out, this arm starts creaking. Had it back at Doc Wells three times now. ---- Steve: Relax, Barney. Like I said, you'll do fine. Barney: Fine? Yeah, were both just fine. A couple of carefully engineered deadly weapons by Mr. Oscar Goldman out of Dr. Rudy Wells. ---- Barney: How much did you cost? Steve: Six million. Barney: (taps chest) Seven. Steve: Well, old inflation gets us all. ---- Barney: (laughs) Listen to the man, Rudy. Austronaut, world famous, authentic physical miracle. Probably still buys his wrist watches at the Air Force PX. Listen Stevie boy, when you got it, you don't flaunt it, man, you use it! ---- Steve: Barney, the adreniline's flowing, you're feeling good. Don't get carried away. (raised voice) Away! That rhymes with pay and that stands for... Oscar. ---- Oscar: (holding a file marked Most Secret) You want me to take seven million dollars worth of bionic perfection and toss it down the drain, huh? (tosses file on table) Steve: Well I got one advantage over you there, Oscar, I don't care about the seven million dollars. ---- Rudy: If I'm afraid, Barney, it's not of you, it's for you. ---- Rudy: (shouting) This is lunacy! Barney: (turns round in door opening) You put me together, Rudy. The nuts, the bolts, the wires. Tell me, can the machine be more lunatic than those who created it? Trivia Character * Martin Caidin originally wanted Monte Markham for the role of Steve Austin. * Monte Markham plays the titular role in "The Seven Million Dollar Man," who in this episode is named "Barney Miller". Two months later, a new comedy with Hal Linden would debut, using the same name for both the show and Linden's lead character. In the following season, Markham would reprise the role, but the character's name would be changed to Barney Hiller. Cast * Before “The Six Million Dollar Man”, Monte appeared in an episode of “The Virginian” in 1970, one season before Lee Majors joined the cast for its final season. * Monte and Lee were reunited for Majors’s “The Fall Guy” in 1982 for the two-part adventure “License to Kill”. Gaffes Continuity * Carla Peterson is supposed to have had a relationship with Steve while he was recovering from his bionic surgery. This was depicted in The Six Million Dollar Man (Pilot) as a relationship with another nurse character, Jean Manners (played by Barbara Anderson). While an argument can be made that Steve dated 2 nurses, it seems clear the characters are intended to be the same. Why the character was not simply recast (as with Rudy) rather than renaming her, is unclear. 'Nitpicks' *The scene when Oscar is arriving at the Bionics facility stopping at the guard,is repeated towards the end when he is after Barney at the facility. *A stunt transition nitpick: The scene on the telephone pole, Steve has boots on, after he jumps down and begins to run, he is not wearing boots. Also occurring at the end when Steve tries to stop Barney, Steve is wearing those 70's zip up boots, and when Steve comes down the hall to kick the door down he is wearing flat sole shoes. *Adding to the stunt nitpicks: Tight polyester clothing in the 70's did not help to hide the fact that prepared for stunts, the actors are wearing either/all knee, hip, elbow pads. Case in point, before the men get out of their van, check out the driver coming around in the high water grey polyester pants being held up by his knee pads. Credibility Gallery Image:Th-Der.6-Millionen-Dollar-Mann.-.S02E05.-.Der.Konkurrent.jpg|Episode collage Image:7mil-tape.jpg|Carla gives someone classified materials. Image:7mil-challenge.jpg|Barney Miller. Image:7mil04.jpg|Oscar reveals the Bionic program's extent to Steve Image:7mil-oscar-havetolie-1.jpg|"There are times when I have to lie" Image:7mil-carla.jpg|Carla Peterson Image:7mil-salmon-apricot.jpg|Steve has had it Image:7mil-maniacal-2.jpg|Barney is having way too much fun Image:7mil-its-wild.jpg|"It's wild, Steve. It's wild!" Image:7mil-flying-kick.jpg|Steve takes down a steel door Image:7mil-right-hook.jpg|The Bionic right hook Image:7mil-finishing.jpg|No one gets up from this one Image:7mil-rudy-carla.jpg|Rudy and Carla after Barney's Bionic reduction surgery 205